This beer is not sobering me up at all
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
