So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Randomize
