Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
