i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Randomize
