It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Randomize
