I need help removing her.
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
