maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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