She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Randomize
