I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
