D3 body, D1 cock
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
Randomize
