You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
We left an ass print on the piano.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
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