Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
