Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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