sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
