You're a womanizer and a bitch.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
if only i could text you this smell
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
