Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
