I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Randomize
