So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
He felt like a one man threesome
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Randomize
