I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
