Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
