you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize
