If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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