remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
She needs sedatives and a leash
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
