im drinking this country out of the recession.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
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