you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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