i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
