so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
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