Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
