so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
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