the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
