I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
