So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
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