I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
I wear drunk well.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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