My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
