If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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