the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
i think my cat just said my name.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
