I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize
