you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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