If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Randomize
