woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
