Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Randomize
