i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
