I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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