So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Randomize
