fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
