My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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