I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
