are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
