News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
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