you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Randomize
