Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
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