just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
