I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Can you bring me the toilet please
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
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