YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
I have tasted many bathrooms
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
