addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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