My first STD was from a foam party
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
