Jerry, you need to find god
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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